For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
