Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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