i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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