I cut my penus on the lid.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
