There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
