Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
