My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
