the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
