He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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