So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
