you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
