he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
