he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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