The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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