Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
