Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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