I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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