Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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