do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
