he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
