I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
