She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
