Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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