smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I see more hoeing in ur future
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
