you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
