he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
