my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
