At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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