All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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