Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
