i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh god it's open bar.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
