1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
