Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
