your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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