If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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