Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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