It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
