I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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