What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
