I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
