That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
