flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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