i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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