I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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