ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
