I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
