He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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