I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
