so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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