I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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