is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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