Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
