So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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